The Worst Tour Ever Deserves A Better Name
So, in what can only be considered something straight out of the Musical Book of Revelations, Jeffree Star is touring with BrokeNCYDE and Blood on the Dancefloor. Why is this so terrible? Well, not only have ALL THREE OF THESE ACTS been covered by The Hunt for the Worst Musical Act Ever, but at least two of them have at times been RATED the worst musical act ever (Ikkyg, the genius behind the Hunt, has deemed J* just too boring to hate and I tend to agree). Not to mention the perverse amount of full out misogyny that all three of these acts proudly put on display.
Sadly, this tour does not yet have a name. But never fear, for I have come up with several that would suit this tour just perfectly. In no particular order:
- The “Is Everyone Paying Attention To Us Yet?” Tour
- The “We Don’t Know What Consensual Sex Feels Like” Tour
- “The Scene is Dead And This Is What Killed It” Tour
- The “Gabe Saporta Likes Us, It’s A Shame Gabe Saporta Has No Taste” Tour
- The “Please Don’t Tell Anyone How Small Our Dicks Really Are” Tour
- The “Music You Will Regret Having Been Into When You’re Over the Age of 18″ Tour
- The “Thank God This Means They Won’t Be on Warped Again” Tour
- The “Three Hours of Shaming Our Female Fans for Being Born with a Vagina” Tour
- “The Only Thing Tackier than Those Shoes is Rufinol” Tour
- The “It’s Okay to Be Homophobes ‘Cause We’re Touring With a Gay Dude” Tour
- The “David Bowie Needs to Slap the Shit Out of All of Us And Not in a Sexy Way” Tour
- The “Who Needs Talent When You’ve Got Garageband and Hairspray?” Tour
And my personal favorite:
- The “Bad Hair and Date Rape” Tour
PS: I’m sure some of you are fans of these groups, despite the fact that they’re all terrible excuses for human beings (Hey, the headliner’s even been caught red handed being a racist piece of trash). In which case, I’m sure you’re going to leave comments about how I “just don’t get it” or how they make “really, really good music who cares about their lyrics?” and I look forward to the first person who calls me a “fat bitch” for all of this.
So, really. Bring it.
Daily Music Dose: Snail Ramp
It’s time to party and Snail Ramp is the soundtrack. The ska/punk band from Japan (really!) are infectious and positive. Alcy thinks you should party hard to them today!
Daily Music Dose: VAMPS
Today’s dose, written by infinitisanti, is of Japanese rockers VAMPS. Get into it!
The Ruby Suns And Toro Y Moi Kick Off Their 2010 Tour
The drive from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara is about 90 miles. In Friday afternoon traffic it takes about 3 hours. That distance is worth it when you are as obsessed with The Ruby Suns and Toro Y Moi as I am. The two bands kicked off their tour together, tonight at Mainstage in SB. Oh what a night!
South Carolina native Chaz Bundick performs his illusive pop music under then the name of Toro y Moi (pronounced toro-EEE-muah). Learn how to pronounce it and don’t forget it, because his music will make your lo-fi fantasies come true, in other words he will totally make you feel good.
Chaz is only 23 years of age, but he has certainly got down the grooves and could make even a fireside chat get antsy in their seats. Check out Toro Y Moi’s moves with his music video for Blessa.
If Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion had you hooked in 2009, then there is a very good chance that The Ruby Suns’ new album Fight Softly will be your hyper melodic support system in 2010. Ryan McPhun (lead singer) will woo your ears over with his sexy high pitched vocals and mesmerizing chants.
The Ruby Suns’ music serves you a palette of tropical visions and mental vacations, just like Tom Cruise did in the 80′s movie Cocktail. Me likey!
Toro Y Moi & The Ruby Suns Tour Dates:
03-13 La Jolla, CA UCSD – The Loft
03-14 Phoenix, AZ – Rhythm Room
03-15 Tucson, AZ – Plush
03-22 Atlanta, GA – Drunken Unicorn
03-23 Chapel Hill, NC – Local 506
03-24 Washington, DC – Black Cat
03-25 Philadelphia, PA – Kung Fu Necktie
03-26 Brooklyn, NY – Brooklyn Bowl
03-27 Cambridge, MA – Middle East
03-28 Winooski, VT – The Monkey House
03-29 Montreal, QC – Il Motore
03-30 Toronto, ONT – The Drake Hotel
03-31 Chicago, IL- Schubas
04-02 St. Paul, MN – Turf Club
04-03 Lawrence, KS – Jackpot Saloon
04-05 Denver, CO – Hi Dive
04-06 Salt Lake City, UT – Kilby Court
04-07 Nampa, ID – Flying M Coffee
04-08 Seattle, WA – Chop Suey
04-09 Vancouver, BC – Biltmore
04-10 Portland, OR – Mississippi Studios
04-12 San Francisco, CA – Bottom of the Hill
04-13 San Luis Obispo, CA – SLO Arts Center
04-14 Los Angeles, CA – The Echo