Hunter Burgan Analyzes This … Heidi And Spencer As Jon & Kate Gosselin
October 30th, 2009
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What’s in a picture? A story? A conversation, perhaps? A bag full of candy? If the latter is true, then I’m getting ripped off! I go trick-or-treating every week and only get candy once a year! Maybe next week… Until then, I’m going to stick with what I know: picture analysis. I can find the hidden meaning in almost any picture. If you don’t believe me, believe me, you are wrong. If you believe me, you’re wrong.
Twilight vs. Harry Potter
At first glance I thought these pictures were stills from the Twilight and Harry Potter films. However, something didn’t look quite right. Upon closer examination I realized that these aren’t stills from the films, they are just posed pictures featuring the actors from the films. The large “vs.” in the center leads me to believe that some sort of movie-battle is about to take place. I don’t know about you, but these two teams look pretty evenly matched to me! The only advantage that the Twilight team has over the HP team is that baby. Babies always win a battle. Hey, I just thought of something…these would make great Halloween costumes for the Buzznet staff! K-Ron might have a little trouble finding Hermione’s pink glasses and green tooth though.
Heidi and Spencer plus Six
Why do Jon and Kate look so weird in this picture? It’s as if someone else is…oh…wait a second…I get it.
I guess Heidi and Spencer decided to dress as Jon and Kate plus their eight adorable offspring, but they did a horrible job. First off, since Heidi and Spencer don’t have kids (thank goodness!), so they brought along a wagon full of dolls, but I only count six. WHERE ARE THE OTHER TWO KIDS!?? Someone should call Doll Protective Services!! Second off, is it really a costume when two fools from television shows that I’ve never watched and don’t care about dress as two OTHER fools from television shows that I’ve never watched and don’t care about? Nope. Next time you want to look like you are clever, dress as Frankenstein monsters. It’s more fitting.
Cheese Guitar
This is quite possibly the most disgusting guitar I’ve ever seen (except for the rotting carcass guitar). Is some luthier so bored that he or she is turning to foul materials such as cheese? Seriously, how good could it even sound? I bet it can only play cheesy guitar licks. In the distant future, after Guitar Center goes out of business and sells all their remaining stock at 75-95% off the already guaranteed low prices, this guitar will still be hanging on the wall—unless an artist like RATT or DANGERMOUSE shows up!
Check back each week for more analytical ephemera. If you have suggestions of photos you would like me to analyze, email them to yourself and Bcc me. If you didn’t read the last Analyze This, you missed a classic. If you missed any of the prior weeks, you can travel back in time by looking in my journal section. Why not take a few minutes to read every single one? Lastly, commentary is accepted and expected. Happy Halloween to all the fools from television shows that I’ve never watched and don’t care about!!!